Something's Rotten in the State of Colorado

I'll steal a quote from Michael Stipe too: "There's something strange going on tonight. There's something going on that's not quite right."

This absolute weasle of a man, sporting the high-pocket style popularized by Ed Grimley, has apparently "confessed" to murdering JonBenet Ramsey. I don't believe it. I haven't believed it since the news first broke late yesterday afternoon. My instincts as a legal news whore -slash -wee conspiracy theorist have precluded my jumping on the "CASE SOLVED" bandwagon just yet. John Karr strikes me as a uniquely disturbed guy engaged in a "Fantasy pedophile" league who seems freaky enough to confess to a crime he did not commit simply to gain international notoriety as a pervert. Dan Abrams was back on MSNBC for a Special Report on the case this evening and was equally as skeptical of this icky little man's story.

So, until there is a DNA match...

Devasted by Dan Abrams

Anyone who knows me is all too aware of my somewhat unhealthy obsession with The Abrams Report. I've watched the show religiously since 2001 and have been TiVo-ing it since 2003. It is the one show I watch every day, it is the only semblance of a routine I have. After the babies -- and often, Jimmy -- are asleep, I pour myself a glass of wine and watch Dan. It's how I unwind. Some people have their People magazines and their porn, I have Dan Abrams, a petite, fiercely opinionated Jewish lawyer from New York.

So you can imagine how DEVASTATED I was to learn the news last week. Dan is giving up his show -- effective immediately -- because he's been promoted to general manager of MSNBC. Kudos to him and all but what am I going to do? It's not like other shows where you can buy the DVDs of past seasons. This is cold turkey and I suck at cold turkey. I'm a mess.

Having Dan behind the scenes instead of on-camera will certainly leave a void because it was so satisfying to watch him in action. He is adept at shutting up misguided loudmouths without losing his composure like some tomato-faced neanderthal. He's always able to make a coherent argument for the good guys and he easily exposes hypocritical or disingenuous statements -- but in a gracious way. He can reveal his emotion for a topic without becoming consumed by it -- a trait I admire as I'm often paralyzed by it. I've also been told Dan looks like a slightly nerdier version of James, which doesn't hurt.

Oh well..life goes on. And speaking of which, at least one Abrams Report will remain forever immortalized on my TiVo -- it was an episode from last year when Dan read one of my emails on the air. My comments were fairly innocuous, having to do with Patti Lupone getting felt up at LaGuardia. However, in that brief moment, as in so many before it, Dan and I were on the same page.

There is always Anderson Cooper, but Cameo says "hands off."




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