What...is the fascination with...

Actually, I think the fascination is feigned.

The latest OJ circus is not deja vu all over again, it's disingenous. Everyone's desperate to recreate the magic of those halycon cable news days of 1994-1995. The aerial shots of OJ's caravan leaving Las Vegas had a "fingers crossed" feel to them, like maybe a Bronco chase will break out. Breaking news banners wail the most mundane headlines: "OJ expected to arrive at courthouse any second" "OJ expected to exit courthouse at any moment" "OJ stops to tie his ugly-ass shoe...wait a second, are those Bruno Maglis?" That nut with the "I Love Famous People" hat at the press conference yesterday was the perfect (and hilarious) personification of the whole charade. In 1994-1995, those freaks and leprechuans outside the courthouse were for real. Today, they're just there to capitalize on their YouTube opportunity. OJ stepped in it again, let's make like 1995 and dress up like Barney Rubble. Let's put a giant Jell-o mold in a sling shot and launch it at the courthouse and not wear pants.

Then there are others who want to see this incident as the finale in some tragic epic. A woman on the radio this morning took it so far as to say she believes OJ wanted to get caught because even he can't live with himself, the guilt over what he did, and unconsciously wants to go to jail. That's insane. That would mean he has some semblance of a soul, some wee shred of humanity. But he doesn't. He's a sociopath and a narcissist. He can’t help himself, he craves the spotlight -- even in infamy (Think: "If I did it" quasi-confession) So, there will be another trial, and like 1995, he will get off and not spend a day in jail. However, this time around -- much to OJ's dismay, I'm sure -- the surrounding circus has very little to do with him.

Pop Culture Infraction: In a Soapy Lather

I’ve become so obsessed with Vitamin Water that I just wrote a letter to Glaceau.

James became addicted to it on his ski trip to Utah earlier this year and as so often is the case, he got me hooked too. This is much bigger than the blue Gatorade phase from a few years ago. I’ve gotten to the point where if a beverage is not fortified with B vitamins, I’m not drinking it. Not to mention, I was finally able to kick my Diet Coke habit with such a worthy replacement. (Now, of course, Diet Coke Plus – diet coke infused with vitamins and minerals – hit shelves this week. Jerks. Coca-Cola=Greedy Gretchen)

My favorite Vitamin Water is the “Revive” fruit punch. Had this healing potion existed 10 years ago, it would’ve made our 20s much more fulfilling. We would’ve spent fewer mornings hanging dark-colored sheets over our windows and more time at those halcyon brunches we’d always planned but never quite made it to.

While there are fewer hangovers these days, the V-water works equally well for sleep deprivation and exhaustion. We will definitely be sending a case to friends within the pointy universe who have babies crowning this summer and fall.

But my gratefulness for this product’s existence is not why I wrote the company; I wrote to inform them of what I believe was a pop culture faux-pas.

One of my favorite things about these Glaceau bevvies is the creative explanation about how each flavor caters to a specific need. For instance, the fruit punch label reads:

“if you woke up tired, you probably need more sleep. if you woke up drooling at your desk, you probably need a new job. if you woke up with a headache, on a ferris wheel at the Idaho state fair, wearing a toga, you probably need answers, not to mention this product. it’s got potassium and b vitamins to help you recover and feel refreshed – kinda like in those old irish spring commercials.”

That last sentence has been picking away at me since this little infatuation began.

They don’t mean Irish Spring, but Coast, “the eye-opener soap that actually brings you back to life.” The two products are easy to confuse. Both soaps had that marbled texture and similar ad campaigns back in the day. However, Irish Spring promised you’d feel “fresh and clean as a whistle” while Coast’s tagline was more on par with Vitamin Water Revive’s current purpose: to "bring yourself back to life."

I have a vivid memory of being at CVS, imploring my mother to buy Coast instead of Irish Spring like we usually did just so I could lather up and act out the commercial in the shower. Disclaimer: I was 7.

I looked up the ads on YouTube earlier and they were even better than I remembered. In one of the earlier spots, the person experiencing a soap revival is played by the mother from “Too Close for Comfort.”

It's likely that Glaceau is fully aware of the discrepancy but chose the more recognizable brand, figuring nerdy throwbacks like me wouldn't be writing letters to point it out. Either way, the correspondence is out there. Who knows what’ll happen. Maybe Glaceau will get me and send along a free case of the juice. Or, not. Since it’s likely the latter, I signed the letter with the alias “KJ Hagberg" -- named after an annoying spammer who recently soiled T-Bag’s inbox with crap about the lakes and waterways of Canada.

When "a Little Sauce, a Little Cheese" is Definitely Something to be Afraid of

I don't know which is better -- this clip of a fan getting smacked with a large slice of cheese or Jerry Remy & Don Orsillo's giggly commentary about it. This dude is just lucky WMD wasn't in the vicinity as the hurled concession would have been a large meatball sub. Meatballs of fury.

In this context, J. Wiley's old adage needs a disclaimer: "A little sauce, a little cheese...nothing to be afraid of." ***

*** Unless it's coming at you at 100 mph.

Cadbury Creme Eggs

Perhaps one of the greatest Easter commercials of all time. This is right up there with M&M's "Thank you, Easter Bunny -- Bock! Bock!"

I know I am likely in the minority here but I've always thought Cadbury Creme Eggs were straight-up nasty. I love all things chocolate but my texture issues could never get past that fondue-like yellow and white filling masquerading as yolk and egg white. Eww.

Fun with Uncle Brownguy

Grainy 80-second footage of the madness that erupted after yesterday's Pats' game.

A Box in a Box

The female response to the SNL Digital Short "Dick in a Box" is as equally brilliant and impossible to get out of your head. Enjoy.

It's a beeeeaver.

Dick in a Box - An SNL Digital Short

This is on par with last year's "Lazy Sunday." This one, featuring Justin Timberlake, reeks of and oozes early-90s Color Me Badd. It's worth every second.

The 12 Days of Christmas

Last month, You Tube asked its members to send in videos of themselves singing their own renditions of "The 12 days of Christmas" for a video montage of the song. Here is the result. The cast seems to be comprised of geriatric porn stars and recluses that probably play with puppets and use common kitchen utensils as sex toys.

I wish I had known about it. Either way, here is a little You Tube Christmas Carol to brighten (or soil) your Friday.

The Shining Redux

It's all in the presentation...