What a Schmuck

It's always the holy rollers; the exaggerated genuflectors who fall on their knees at the altar, loudly praisin' the Lord -- they are often the most gigantic hypocrites, and even more frequently, the most gigantic assholes. Case in point...the uber-holy Mad Mel.

Last week, Mel apparently busted into the sacramental vino at one of the fringe churches he founded in Malibu, sped off into the night butt-wasted and was pulled over on suspicion of DUI. He then proceeded to launch into this inexplicable rant:

"Fucking Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," he barked. "Are you a Jew?" he asked the arresting deputy. When he noticed a female sergeant standing nearby, he yelled at her, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

OY.

Considering the steaming cauldron of crazy that is Mel Gibson, I'm surprised this did not come to a head sooner. INGREDIENTS: 1. Mel's father, Hutton Gibson, is a religious zealot and holocaust denier who -- hand on Bible -- believes the 9/11 planes were flown into the WTC towers by an "unknown party" using remote control devices. 2. Mel's dad also founded a fundamentalist splinter church, a sort of Hezbollah for Catholics, to which Mel belongs. 3. A good Christian boy, Mel believes that his wife of 26 years is going to hell because she's Episcopalian. 4. In 2004, he pissed off the chosen people with his portrayal of Jews in The Passion of The Christ but was not widely viewed as an anti-semite...until he outed himself last week.

Tonight, Mel is holed up in rehab devising a better PR strategy. His first mea culpa which stated "I said despicable things that I don't believe" was transparent. Everyone knows people say things when they're drunk that they'd never say when sober. However, what they do say while intoxicated is often what they really think and feel. In vodka veritas.

It's all so familiar. A celebrity behaving erratically around relgious fanaticism. The Cruise must be pumped.

(YES! I'm off the hook.)