19 March 2008

Example #7809 of How the Fates Conspire to Make Me Look Like a White Trash Mama Despite All Efforts to the Contrary

In the constant fielding of questions from wee brown ones, there are the ones you can’t answer: “Mama, why do we have eyebrows” and the ones you don’t want to answer: “Mama, what’s a threesome?”

Who wants popsicles!?

(Thanks, Gov. McGreevey)

It’s getting worse. Caroline is starting to read and is fluent in TiVo. Add that to our growing list of “bad combinations” when you consider our program list is half kid shows, half adult. One wrong click and you’re screwed. We found this out the hard way last week when they ended up watching an episode of The Family Guy. We’re still dealing with the repurcussions.

In the episode they watched, Stewie, the sardonic infant with the British accent, poses as a high schooler and invites one of the popular girls to “Anal Point." After the encounter, he is nicknamed “baby penis.” Also in the episode, Peter has a stroke after eating too many hamburgers and loses use of his entire left side before being cured by stem cell research.

And here come more questions you don't want to answer...

“Mama, what’s a stroke?”

It’s a song by Billy Squier! Who wants to download it!?

..and the random shouting of quotes from the episode:

At Hannaford, in Stewie’s voice:

“This girl is making out with a baby, a NUUUUDE baby!”

“Baby Penis! Baby Penis!”

When you ask Caroline how school was, she answers with a pitch-perfect Peter: “I’ve had better days, Lois, better days.”

(Do they sell stem cells at the market?)
Also, Paulie is telling everyone he encounters that his rubber pet alligator that he carries with him everywhere “had a stroke.” That went over really well at the preschool.

Like other obsessions, this will fade. All we can do is delete the show from TiVo and wait it out. In the meantime, I’m running out of distractions.

10 comments:

Bean Down Under said...

It could have been a lot worse! At least the episode didn't have Lois and Peter in one of their S&M bedroom scenes. Imagine THOSE questions in relation to you two! I won't even get into Quagmire or Herbert (the old VERY creepy guy).

Gotta love the Family guy.

Alex said...

This is a re-occuring theme, not your fault. Tivo really needs folders to store shows. For example, one you could call "karate flix" that would be filled with nothing but cinemax after-dark.

They also need a community tool to allow users to send show's to other users.

KJ said...

EPB-you're right..it could've been MUCH worse.

Alex: you're a TiVo genius. This has to be invented. It almost seems like second nature to include an "email to friend" feature. Everything else on earth has one.

Pubey said...

KJ - Not sure if this will work for your situation but give it a shot.
Blocking Content with TiVo's Parental Controls
Adapted From: TiVo For Dummies
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/Blocking-Content-with-TiVo-s-Parental-Controls.id-2526,subcat-MULTIMEDIA.html

KJ said...

Oh, pubey, you are a great humanitarian. I appreciate your charity, however humorless.

JC73 said...

Wasn't trying to inject humor. I did a quick search for instrustion s on parental controls on TiVo and that is what came up. I just wanted to offer a solution that worked for me. Happy Easter.

KJ said...

To you as well!

I'm sorry I misunderstood your tone. The way of the comment box!

Barney Frank said...

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and i will advertise it

lpd said...

Hey look! Barney Frank on the PU.

wmd said...

....and he likes Peter Tosh..