08 August 2007

No Love

I now understand the term “shoot the messenger.”

Who buys the Goldfish, Yogurt, Juice Boxes, Fruitsnacks and Granola bars? – The Peapod Guy (“Mama, look what Peapod brought us…popsicles! He’s such a nice man!”)

Who orders books from Scholastic and counterfeit Disney DVDs from Singapore on eBay? -- Stu, the mailman.

Who makes sure Caroline’s milk is delivered to the door each week so we’re not forever running up to Assinippi? – Hornstra Farms (milkman)

Who fulfilled Caroline’s and Paulie’s incessant requests for green and blue Crocs? -- The UPS man

17 comments:

sb said...

KJ - I think that's just the way it is, and not much you can do about it. I never fully appreciated what my parents did until I moved out of ABHam and grew up (which didn't necessarily happen when I moved out).

KJ said...

I know..I just find it funny that their little world is full of these everyday Santas.

My favorite Santa from Shephard Way: Imperial Pizza delivery man who would bring us Advil when requested.

Code Red said...

My favorite Santa is Mr. CVS Pharmacist.....he supplies the birth control pills. :) He, he.

jal said...

Crocs??!!!??!!? Say it isn't so KJ!

KJ said...

I'm afraid so, JAL. They're actually kind of cute on the little ones. You really can't get away with them if you're over 3 feet tall, though.

jal said...

I hate to admit I agree with you but it's a shame that so many over 3 feet try ...

KJ said...

I know. I saw an entire family of Croc-wearers at Derby St. and wanted to throw a brick of firecrackers at their feet.

Anonymous said...

Now Code Red is talking about birth control pills!!! That would imply that she may from time to time... hmmmm. Well, along with other reason for BC pills. How, I ask, is she still single?

Code Red said...

Thanks so much for the ego boost, Anonymous. Yes, where I'm perusing eHarmony, unfortunately,the pills are nothing more than little orange pellets of hope!

jal said...

"Little orange pellets of hope"!
Genuis!!!

GOY said...

Who taught me what a cover tune is and gave me my city smarts? My pal Kitty. I appreciate everything you have ever taught me. And someday those little people that view us as their waitstaff will too!

15 Brewster is also the home of orange and blue crocs. The little people can definately pull it off. Adults, not so much!

KJ said...

"Is it a cover band?"

"No, they play other people's songs."

"That's a cover band."

Classic exchange on Pine Grove Road before Michelle's graduation party. Moments later, your Grammy took the stage to perform "Wild Thing" with the band. Great way to start the summer of the Pony Express to the Cape.

Cols said...

Awww Man, Kate...Caroline and Paulie are part of Crocs nation?! Ugh. Those things are EVERYWHERE! Those shoes, along with birkenstocks...I just don't get it. Flat shoes are fashionably acceptable now, why wear the crocs unless you're: a. a professional beach volleyball player; b. under the age of 8 or c. have had major knee/foot surgery recently and your podiatrist prescribed them.

I almost walked out of the Whole Foods one day when I saw they were now selling them.

Code Red--Did you know that birth control pills are also a cancer fighting agent? They reduce your risk of ovarian cancer by 30 percent!! That's huge!

KJ said...

Cols-Apparently Crocs are biodegradable, hence the Whole Foods retail gig. Toss em all in a landfill, I say.

Like public nudity, Crocs aren't "cute" past age five.

Hope you're doing well! xo

wmd said...

Alright it's on!....

KJ, you must have been expecting this.

Ordinarily I would ask to pen a guest blog titled "An open letter of disdain for Hippy Shoes" or "The Stupifying of our Youth; Child Mullets, earrings on babies and Crocks by WMD" The only problem is I don't think I could wait that long.

I would dedicate it to JAL for his keen perception on the subject. I would dedicate this to Colleen but would need to adjust her categories to a) pro v-ball players OR nurse b) under the age of fetus or c) if prescribed by Podiatrist, tear up prescription, see a real doctor and buy sandals.


The only ones I'm ok with wearing these are Hippies. That is because the hippies and I have a mutual agreement of askew existence. They leave me alone and I leave them alone. As for children begging for crocks, I will equate this to the "jumping off a bridge lecture" we received as kids. In 2010, when all the rage is mini boy leg warmers... Baby D will be leaving a storm door window filled with a thousand nose prints before the UPS man fulfills his Flashdance starter kit dream.

Yes, I realize this makes me a bad parent and my child will be purchasing Sudafed by the case by the age of 12. This is why LPD will always intervene whenever I try to make a decision and she will do the right things.

KJ said...

Ah dear proud papa WMD: At the risk sounding like a smug "know it all" parent: If I had a nickel for every time I've done something I swore I'd never do once I had kids, I'd have purchased us all a waterfront home on Nantucket by now.

Let's revisit in 4-5 years, you big softie.

wmd said...

That's bullsh...ahhh, you're probably right. I'm just glad that these stupid shoes won't be around by the time the little one cries for them.

I'll also add that even though I'm not a fan (read: irrational hate) them, I'm sure Paulie and Caroline look adorable in them. Those kids could look cute in Goth.