I Think I May Be Over Thinking Things

I'm listening to Vito growl at a coil of fresh garland that I'm supposed to be stringing up but I keep getting drawn back in here.  I miss the PU.  I made a few ham-fisted attempts to start another blog over the past couple of months but could never quite agree on a name, or design, or font, or some other silly setting.  At one point, I actually used the word "rebranding."  Out loud.  Then I immediately had the urge to smack myself upside the head with a Mistletoe-scented Yankee Candle (large jar variety).  How could I let inane corporate speak tarnish this terrain?  Circle back up your own arse; this is not a goat rodeo, it's the PU!

Actually it's simple procrastination.  I've been paralyzed by fear.  After all that's happened the past two years, I'm afraid I have nothing to write about, or worse, nothing to say.  But, in revisiting some of the pre-2009 posts, I realized that never stopped me before.

So, it's 1 p.m. on a Tuesday and I've just poured myself a glass of red this big (no judgment) to see if I can conjure the spirit of this rudderless blog.  If Vito doesn't lift his peg leg anywhere near the garland in the next few minutes, we could be in business.

Updates (just in case...)

I lost my amazing sister-in-law Paula on Aug 9 and it's been nothing less than a spiritual amputation for everyone.  Anyone who has experienced loss can attest it's like waking up in a new reality that you never wished for.  She was a fixture on this blog and with bear hugs to Peg M and e.e cummings, the mantra:  "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart).  i am never without it (anywhere you i go you go, my dear)."

I wrote this essay about Paula for the Patriot Ledger in Oct and it's much more clearheaded than anything I could repeat here about the impact P had on me.  You would hear 100+ similar stories from anyone who knew her.

The Rack

I started the first phases of reconstruction back in April and it was touch and go for a several months as to whether the teets would “take." I had my final surgery on Nov 12 and all is well.  I look pretty much the same as before but they're just *out there.*  I didn’t want to look like a porn star (at least not permanently) so we're not dealing in cannonballs so much as billiard balls. Rack 'em up.

I'd write about the surgery experience but thanks to a wonderful, amnesia-producing pharmaceutical called Versed, it's all eternal sunshine. I remember nothing except an orderly in the recovery room who may or may not have been a member of Alice in Chains in the 90s.   

Other news:

Vito has lost 6 pounds... 

Can't you tell?

How about from this angle?

So, with a giant sigh and a "WTF was that," I'm ready to move forward.  Can the PU be reignited?  Can I get a fawning chorus of Hallelujiahs or boos?  I'll cry either way...believe.