24 December 2005
A Holiday Blog from Vito
Ho, ho, friggin' ho, everyone. I suppose you all know by now that I was unwittingly exiled from the annual Christmas card. As usual I received the shit end of the stick. It is a cruel irony as I was the only one who actually sat still and mugged for the picture on a multitude of occasions since last July. The other two monkeys were running around with ants in their pants and could never quite make it through the nanosecond red-eye delay on the camera. In most of the shots I looked damned handsome too. An adjective that comes to mind is "regal." But wasn't it just my luck that I happened to be off taking a leak in the woods when Caroline and Paulie finally stood still for a photo. So, instead of a Christmas card appearance, I get to send my holiday messages through my mom's lame blog. My whole existence is a shitty consolation prize. So, Merry Friggin' Christmas. What I really want for Christmas is to find out who the hell you have to hump around here to get some parma proscuitto.