11 March 2009

Damn, It Feels Good to be a

"An emergency prescription for Roxicet" -- music to my ears after my doctor told me my sore throat was likely being caused by lesions on my esophagus. Nasty! But I have to admit it made me feel like less of a wimp for letting a sore throat bring me down so hard and fast. Lesions, man!

Roxicet, which is as fun as it sounds, is basically liquid percocet -- and it's like butter. A half a teaspoon of this stuff and it's all rainbows and unicorns and Turtles' songs. It's an overwhelming sense of well being. It's Happy Time. I sat slack jawed on the couch, staring at the TV with my tongue hanging out for about 20 minutes before I realized I was stoned out of my mind. Why the hell am I watching Walker, Texas Ranger? I turned off the TV, put on the new U2, and passed out on my yoga mat next to Vito after a brief stare down contest. I woke up a few minutes later and played Star Wars sound effects on my iPhone, cracking up -- every single time -- at C-3P0's voice: "We're doomed!" Usually, it's Chewie who cracks me up. While on drugs, it's C-3P0 apparently.

It's a good thing that I have roots because I could so easily become a drug addict or a transient. I had an epiphany similar to Cameo's from the 1990s about the path of least resistance. One morning, Cam spotted a pretty rancid guy on the Red Line on her way into work. It was not yet 8 a.m. and the man was clearly wasted. He was talking to an equally rancid friend, his partner in crime (or in this case, his partner in stanking up the train.) The man smiled at his friend, patted his filthy front jacket pocket that contained a bottle of Captain Morgan's, and in a gravelly voice said: "El Captain! El Captain!"

"He just seemed so carefree," Cameo thought, sitting there stressed out in her nylons, heels and business suit, wanting to be dropped off anywhere but her corporate job. "Lead us not into South Station." This guy is onto something, she thought. The early morning grooming is exhausting enough, not to mention the workplace anxiety under 'the man.' It would be so much easier to just be dirty and drunk on the T all day without a care in the world.

On my "off" weeks, I already feel like Nick Nolte's mug shot (except bald.) I thought about Scary Mary, another AM drunk who used to hang out at the Wood Island T station. Whenever you walked by her, she may or may not have swung her plastic bag of dishtowels and limes at you and tell you to go fuck yourself. You just never knew if it was going to be you or the guy behind you. So I thought about putting some Roxicet in my front jacket pocket and heading down to the West Hingham Commuter Rail station -- and whatever happens happens. But then I sobered up. It's time to get off the junk.

Seven Songs of the Day -- 3/10/09

1. “The Underdog” Spoon (Love this song. It’s a good “fuck you” to any entity that thinks its indestructible)

2. “Hospital Food” David Gray

3. “Missed the Boat” Modest Mouse

4. “The Painter” Neil Young

5. “All for One” from High School Musical Cast (Olivia suggested this one)

6. “Take Me Out” Franz Ferdinand

--Courtesy of M. Draper


Anonymous said...

I think you should create a Roxitini. Roxicet, splash of pomegranate juice with a champagne floater. Rimmed with crushed vicoden. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Glad you had some relief. If the chemo is causing all of this damage to the good cells, imagine the hell it is wreaking on the bad ones!
xxoo Doobie

pace-inater said...

hi Kate

I just wanted to tell you about my Roxicet experience. I was on my way home from having my tonsils out...my mom was driving...everything was a "ok" and Life couldnt have been beter..lol...I saw Unicorns on the way home in the trees. It was great! After that i totally understood how people could get a addicted....then i found i was alergic and was given tylenol with codenine...wtf??? i lived hell for two weeks after that..it was nothing like the roxicet...then my brother wanted me to sell it on the street cause i couldnt take it...mom dumped it down the toilet...enjoy the ride!

Dr. Nic said...

I was just one percocet away from being addicted....liquid or not, it does numb the pain. And I'm sorry you were in soooo much pain - nasty side effect, wtf.
Hopefully its temporary my friend. XOX

Diana said...

Is it pronounced rock-a-set? That's how I say it in my head...rock-a-set. Gimme some rock-a-set. You should pour some into an ice cube tray and freeze it.....a rockicile! I'll have one puhleez....

Glad you're feeling better.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Kate!! Always thinking of you -

T, Beave and the girls

Anonymous said...

you can also get a special mouthwash with lidocaine and some other crazy things that will really help your throat. Then just take the percocet at night. It will aslo help any lesions in your mouth...

Anonymous said...


Glad to hear you're getting relief, no need to be in pain...


Auntie J

lpd said...

Like Cam, I have a special pronunciation for Roxicet in my head, but it keeps coming up "Roxette" the late 80's band that brought us such gems as "Joyride" and "Musta Been Love."

She said Hello!
You fool...
I love you
C'mon join the joyriiiiiiide

Now I can't get that out of my head. Perhaps I'll ask for a swig of your Roxette on the rocks at Jess' house tonight.

Does organic red wine mix well with liquid perc? I'm sure it must...


Alex said...

Ah...nothing like a good degenerate fantasy, I have many.

Also, the "lead us not into South Station" is Top 5 all-time for me on PU.

Be well,

Stevieb said...

I got a dead show I am going to in April Katie maybe you can "hook me up" with your leftovers
Can't wait to see you friday!

Code Red said...

"And forgive us our T passes as we forgive those who use T passes against us." :)

I hope you've found some relief for your sore throat, Kate! I like the idea of making some Roxicet-inis and Roxicet-sicles. If you were watching Walker, Texas Ranger my friend, you MUST have been stoned!!


Bean Down Under said...

Sounds like the type of treatment I have been asking my doctor for for years.... good job! Hope the lesions are better. Those are the worst!

KT said...

"Lead us not into South Station...
but deliver us from Eastie.."

Classic PU.

Have fun tonite! Have a Roxicicle for me. And save some of your organic wine for tomorrow night chickie!

Roving Lemon said...

Hey, you know, whatever it takes to make you feel better--Roxicicles, big fat doobies, stanking up the T--go for it. We're behind you all the way (hopefully upwind).