10 March 2009

The Inevitable Beat Down

It’s official. Just when I thought we were getting away with it, the AC chemo is rearing its MF “cumulative” effects. Even though we never jinxed it by saying it out loud, the sentiment was there and that was enough.

The sneaky little fucker has slowly but surely started robbing me of days on my “on” week. Right now, it’s beating me down in the form of a narcotic-worthy sore throat. It’s been two days of Nyquil comas and strange dreams with 1970s imagery (which I’m sure are Lost-related, but nevertheless strange.) In one, I was bald with sideburns. In another, James was wearing a denim vest and we lived in a tent in Sacramento.

The sore throat is ungodly. I don’t think I have felt this level of pain since the failed epidurals of 2003. But now -- just like then -- I am no hero. When the OTC drugs fail to get the job done, it’s time to call in the big guns and go on a wee pharmaceutical vacation.

In the meantime, the side effects are making me angry and antsy. But I am forcing myself to acknowledge how unbelievably fortunate I have been to make it this far into the Red Death treatment with more "on" days than "off" ones. I'm lucky that I only have one of these treatments left and can move on to the second, less aggressive phase. The "off" days are numbered.

I'm lucky to have plans on the calendar this week to look forward to. I’ve been preparing my wig for a Thursday night Suppah Club at Jess’s and a Friday night dinner at Ivy. (The last time this particular crowd got together, the night ended with me falling into a planter outside the Warren Tavern.) I can't wait to see everyone and refuse to be sidelined. I'll be there. I may be on drugs, but I'll be there.


Seven Songs of the Day -- 3/10/09

On the TimTams

1. It's a Beautiful Morning - The Rascals

2. Barefootin' - Robert Parker

3. California Soul - Marlena Shaw

4. Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing - Stevie Wonder

5. Do You Know the Way to San Jose? - Dionne Warwick

6. Wouldn't It Be Nice - The Beach Boys

7. I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash

- Courtesy of The Roving Lemon


Anonymous said...

So glad to see your post. Glader than you can imagine.

You are totally right to go on a pharmaceutical vacation....in fact i suggest a first class trip around the world....guilt free.

Hang in there. The 16th is around the corner.

You remain in my daily thoughts.


KT said...

Good to hear from you, KJ. I'm sorry the beast is infesting your throat. Damn you, beast! Pharm-vaca away, my friend. Whatever it takes. Only one more to go.

We are looking forward to seeing you and James Friday night! And I will gladly pick you out of a planter any day.

Anonymous said...

Stay strong Kitty. You can do this thing and if you have a bad day I am waiting in the wings to pick up the wee ones. Friday AM is open if you need Auntie Crafty to pay a visit.

See you at Princessica's or call me if I need to drive Miss Daisy.

LOVE YOU Sista....


Anonymous said...


Sorry you're not feeling well, just keep your eye on the prize!! Enjoy yourself this weekend, you deserve my friend!! Love, Mama G.

Anonymous said...

HI Kate:

Hang in there! You're on the home stretch for this round! Think Spring ...


Auntie J

Dr. Nic said...

Oh shite! Sorry you feel like you've hit the wall. I hope you'll be fighting fit by the weekend my friend.

Michelle said...

Kate -

Good to read your post today. Sorry the "offs" are rearing their ugly heads. Here's to more "ons." Thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.


noternie said...

in some cases, drugs are good, m'kay? load up and ride it out. nice list. surprising, but in a good way.

i submit for consideration U2s Acrobat. "don't let the bastards grind you down"

eastietop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hey Kate -

I'm sorry to hear that you are not feeling that great. Hopefully you are getting some good drugs to take some of the edge off and it sounds like you have a fun filled weekend to help get you through!!

Thinking of you.


Anonymous said...

Hey Mama,

If anyone deserves a kickass weekend it's you!
Do whatever it takes, drug up and do your thing but most of all enjoy it. Only one more to go!

Love you, JAL.

lpd said...

Drug it up, Doll, and get thee to Charlestown for good times. Looking forward to seeing you tonight at Suppah Club. Word.