09 August 2005

Deere John


(photo: Runaway Bride's Ass is Grass)

Whenever my brother and I would leave all the lights on in our house, my mother would shake her head in disapproval and say "Thomas Edison is laughing his head off." I never truly understood the negative connotations associated with this expression. However, as I was uploading the Runaway Bride's photo to the blog tonite, a different kind of lightbulb went off over my head: I'm doing exactly what Jennifer Wilbanks wants everyone to do. I'm paying attention, I'm writing about her, I'm uploading photos of her to the Internet. Jennifer Wilbanks is laughing her head off right now. I realize now the expression is about exploitation. (Basically, my mother was suggesting my brother's and my gluttonous use of electricity made us the bitches of Thomas Edison.) Anyway, Wilbanks started her community service today, mowing the lawn outside a probation office in Lawrenceville, Georgia. In her county-issued orange vest, she pushes an awkward, uncooperative lawn mower. Like all of Wilbanks' antics over the past few months, this image is supposed to inspire sympathy for her, position her as a victim. We're supposed to feel sorry that this fragile bird is being hounded relentlessly by the media during her time of humility and penance. However, Wilbanks alerted the media and had to sign waivers for every photo taken and every minute of video footage shot. It's clear she continues to court attention and embarrassing notoriety. At least we didn't have to watch her scrub turlettes.

6 comments:

Celine said...

Did you notice she was wearing a "Life is Good" hat?

SB said...

I saw the RB on the news this morning (KJ -- you love VB and Doug Meehan), and knew this freak would grace the daily tribune of the Pointy Universe. Did you hear they're getting married this weekend? Full alert at all Greyhound terminals.

LP said...

In the words of Jon Bon Jovi:

Ooooh, she’s a little runaway
Daddy’s girl learned fast
Now she works the night away

I chuckled to myself as I watched this "news story" on the Today show and imagined Bon Jovi's "Runaway" playing in the background as JW ambled up the hill with the mower.

KJ said...

Did Sky-Owl Doug Meehan have his Hawaiian shirt on today? We should call him Doug Ho. Don't even get me started on VB. I was in town a few months ago and he was standing outside the Fox Studio on the corner of Park and Beacon streets harrassing old ladies.

KJ said...

LP-Maybe that'll be the theme song her made-for-tv movie "The Attention Whoring Bride"

SB said...

Actually Sky-Owl (I like that one, KJ) had an untucked, button down "club-going" pressed oxford shirt on today. I was questioning why he gets to dress like that, while Gene-o and "Voracious Bastard" (aka VB) wear suits/ties.