(photo: Paulie "The Milkman" Jackson has an appetite for destruction)
For the second time in two months, Paulie cut a swath of destruction through the Assinippi General Store, our favorite neighborhood convenience store. Last month when we went in to buy some bread, he launched loaves of Scali off the shelves, took a bite out of an apple and put it back, and then tackled a newspaper rack on his way out. I promised the owner I wouldn't bring him back until he was past this stage. But Saturday, with James away and no babysitter, I was forced to bring him because we were fresh out of diapers and Cavit. Again, I figured I'd run in and run out. How much damage could he do in under 4 minutes? Within seconds, he'd grabbed a giant bag of Cheetos from the snack shelves and sat on it. The bag exploded and Cheetos crunched beneath my feet while I shooed him away. My arms were loaded up with diapers and wine so I tried to sort of herd him toward the check out line. He stayed in front of me, rolling a can of Bush's Baked Beans down the not-so-clean aisle. Then he overturned a bucket of ATM receipts and used coffee cups. I offered to clean everything up but the owner kindly said "not to worry." I bought the flattened Cheetos, went home and bathed Paulie in Purell.