15 February 2006
TomKat and a Crazy Dangle
The latest issue of Life & Style magazine which hits newsstands tomorrow is reporting that TomKat, that monkey-charade of a romance wrapped in a heavy beard, is over. Before the story even broke, Cruise's publicists Paul Bloch and Arnold Robinson swooped in to issue a forceful denial. "It should be known that this story is 100 percent false." Then they climbed back into their spaceship and spirited away.
I personally thought Katie Holmes was rocking a fake belly but now I'm convinced she consulted with Debbie Rowe (Michael Jackson's baby mama) and made her acquaintance with a turkey baster. Since announcing her pregnancy, Holmes has been closeted as tightly as Cruise's homosexuality and only gets out once a day for a cup of Peet's coffee -- with several "handlers" from the Church of Scientology in tow, of course. There is likely a billion dollar contract involved so we can't feel too sorry for her self-made mess.
The "insiders" quoted by L & S mag say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the farce until after their baby’s birth this spring and then announce a separation shortly thereafter.
MEANWHILE...Cruise was spotted dangling from a balcony at a Kanye West concert this past weekend. Apparently he became completely unhinged during "Golddigger," when during Kanye's line about pre-nups, he threw his hands in the air and started climbing up cables to latch onto the upper balcony. You just can't make this stuff up.