I lied about being kidnapped and sexually assaulted. My family, friends and fiance had me in a ditch and I never called them to let them know I was ok. I diverted law enforcement resources away from real crimes and wasted thousands of taxpayers' dollars. Van-driving Hispanics from coast-to-coast were needlessly detained and interrogated. I filed a fake police report because I am always the victim even when I'm clearly the perpetrator.
Now, Jennifer Wilbanks aka the Runaway Bride has inked a lucrative movie deal and stands to profit from her narcissism.
At first, I felt sorry for Wilbanks who seemed to have completely lost her shit a few days before her conglomerous 28+ bridal party gala wedding. Her fiance, who creepily slipped her engagement ring back on her finger upon her return, appeared to have all the passion of a frozen dinner. However, after hearing how meticulously she detailed her assault by Hispanic people with brown teeth, and after watching her unapologetic, poor me interview with Katie C., I've changed my mind. Had she claimed to be kidnapped by a roving band of French-speaking cats, I may have gone along with her panicking and concocting a story on the spot. If she had not purchased her bus ticket a week in advance, I would have believed she "snapped and fled." If she were 20 as opposed to 32 years old, I'd have had some sympathy for her trying to save herself from herself. But she was old enough to know better and sane enough to know she fucked up.
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