Something curious is afoot in Kennebunkport. During a particularly celebratory Suppah Club in Southie last night, LP and I made a deja-vu-like connection about this coastal village and what could be an accidental flashing epidemic. We were discussing my unfortunate dress malfunction at last Saturday's wedding in Kennebunkport when she reminded me of a similar incident several years ago. James, LP and I were on our way to Draper's wedding -- also in Kennebunkport -- driving along a winding road on a cliff overlooking the rocky coastline. We were rocking out to a mixed CD entitled Big Lumbering Red Head, taking in the view when we spotted them -- Seals. Bobbing up in down in the water, basking on jetties -- seals. We became five year olds. "SEALS! Look at the Seals! I love seals. Me toooo." We stuck our heads out the window like Golden Retrievers to get a better glimpse. We noticed that some cars had pulled over to the side of the road to get a better look. Some people were even venturing out onto the rocks with binoculars. "James! Pull over! We want to see the seals too." Humoring us, James pulled onto the shoulder. We flung the doors of the Jeep open and leaped out in our wispy sundresses and three-inch heels. LP’s enthusiastic dismount caused one of her spaghetti straps to snap like angel hair, exposing her left one. LP, chucking her radical modesty, would not be deterred from our priority seal peep. She rigged up her strap as best she could and we headed out onto the cliff. And we could not see one single seal, at least from this location. Some of the sightseers were jumping up and down and waving, which we found perplexing. James sidled up next to us. "Um, guys, that's George Bush out there," he said, pointing to a boat just offshore with Secret Service power boats swirling around it. Apparently, the seals we'd seen a mile back were not the reason these people had pulled over onto the shoulder of the road. In fact, a passerby told us this location was not even a decent "seal-spotting" sight -- we'd passed it several miles beforehand. We silently returned to the car feeling as defeated as five year olds who’d accidentally let go of their balloons. We swiftly returned to fixing LP's strap.“Wow. Those sightseers really need to get lives. What a bunch of losers,” LP and I vented. “That’s right, ladies. They’re the losers,”James said under his breath..loudly. Whatever, Jimmy. To this day, LP is certain her boob is on a surveillance video somewhere in the Secret Service's archives. If Kennebunkport's flashing stats are astounding as I suspect - her's is likely one of many.
3 comments:
Seals gone wild! Thank GOD for cardigan sweaters, safety pins and duct tape, as all were needed to patch the broken strap and keep my dress in place while throwing shapes on the dance floor later that evening.
So where were the seals?
About 1/2 mile behind us and in front of us along the road. We pulled over at that particular spot thinking others had the same agenda!
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