Loons About Town

Maybe it’s a publicity stunt, maybe it’s some kind of A-list prostitution, but this kind of manic desperation makes us all feel a little bit better about ourselves, doesn’t it? Should we care? Of course not. It’s like someone saying, “Gross! Smell this.” --- and you do, even though you were forewarned. In the case of TomKat, you can’t help but jam your nose flat against the offending spectacle. I’m so taken with this mess, I’ve begun referring to my relationship as JamKat or KatJam depending on the day.

Katie Holmes appears to have seen a pretty laser light show with an LSD concession. She emerged from the show crazy in love, adopting a new religion and carefully orchestrated glee in the span of 11 days. Maybe she’s doing it for her career but that seems to be backfiring. She abruptly fired her long-time publicist and agent and her new ones seem to have graduated from the LaToya Jackson School of Communications. Will someone please tell Katie that “stark raving mad” may not be the savviest way to dispel her wholesome image? I think the true story will emerge that Katie is actually a clone of Tom, jammed into Weird Science-like creation of Katie. Tom, being an expert on psychiatry (we’ll get to that) and very, very rich, may very well have the world’s maddest scientists at his disposal.

It’s not that I don’t believe in the kind of instantaneous crazy romantic love they’re “promoting.” I am a believer. I just believe this bogus display is an affront to romantic love, the kind of love that may make you WANT to jump on Oprah’s couch, but you’d rather die than actually do it. In my experience, nobody wants to jinx new love by flaunting it with abandon. When you’re in love, you’re usually just living minute-to-minute hoping it doesn’t flame up and burn out. Maybe they fall in love differently in Hollywood. But, it's more than likely Tom & Katie’s unabashed confidence is rooted in the fact they know what’s going to happen next. Neither is a threat to the other’s heart and soul. They’re quite comfortable looning about town, letting all their junk hang out, consequence-free.