The following is Scott A. Cyr's much anticipated "official statement" on the demise of the Yellow Wiggle:
"In an announcement that shocked the toddler world, the Wiggles have had a shake up. It appears that Greg Wiggle will be departing the band due to illness. Now, many of you PU readers are no doubt scratching your head, wondering who the Wiggles are but to millions of parents out there, they are the crazy, semi-gay, Australian whack jobs that provide us, the parents, with a much needed and often necessary 30 minute respite from our screaming, nagging, patient, and oh-so loving children.
Greg's departure, although sad, leaves me to question the millions of children who will fiercely battle on the playgorunds of preschools across America proclaiming themselves Greg Page Wiggle fans or Sam Moran Wiggle fans (a la the David Lee Roth [Rothonian] v. Sammy Hagar [Hagarian] debate that has plagued our generation, and still does.
It will be little Jack Beaudin who, I think, will be our first supporter of the non-Greg Page Wiggle DVD's and BlueRays while Caroline, Bennett, Camden and Paulie lay a diaper full of whoop ass on him denouncing the new Wiggle for the great talent that Greg was while showing this to Jack on VHS. (Jack, will no doubt be saying "Dude, what is VHS?" thus opening his own can of whoop ass on his "old bastard" friends)
Either way, I wish Sam Moran the best of luck as the new Wiggle and promise to provide him an open mind.
However, I do hope this new Wiggle is able to provide the legions of parents across the world with that much needed 30 minute siesta from the Zen of Child Raising to study the Art of Love by Teddy Pendergrass. Turn Out the Lights....."