13 June 2007

Fathers' Day Gifts to Avoid

(Prefatherhood Bags: Identical to Postfatherhood Bags)

Lots of fathers and fathers-to-be this year. LPD touched off a wee email war yesterday. Subject: "The Perfect Fathers' Day Gift for Bags." Inside: A photo of this Wally mobile. "Just think of the soothing, sweet dreams the new Baby Beaudin will have with his/her very own Wally the Green Monster mobile. The perfect Fathers Day gift, available exclusively at Target."

As many know, Bags harbors inexplicable ill will toward the furry green rally monster. For some reason, the only thing Wally rallies within Bags is the desire to hurl concessions at him.

That said, when you're out doing your Fathers Day shopping, here are a few gift ideas to avoid.

BAGS: See above.

WMD: A nice pair of Crocs. Preferably turquoise.

James: The J Geils Greatest Hits CD with bonus DVD and iron-on decal.

SAC: A lifesize poster of Beyonce. (on second thought...)


BAGS said...

What really strikes a Wally nerve with me, is when he’s high-fiving the Sox players on the field after a win (like he had 3 hits that contributed to said victory.) Just plain dumb.

Wishing all a Happy Father’s Day, regardless of what gift you may receive. As my own father used to say, “Father’s Day is the most confusing day in Holyoke.”

wmd said...

Crocs are a fine father's day gift... while you're at it, don't forget to get matching with men's capri pants.

Code Red said...

Other gifts to avoid:

James: A DVD of "The Queen"

SAC: A case of Heineken (Well, SAC might enjoy it, but not Goy)

lpd said...

I can't wait for WMD to open his Rosie O'Donnell coloring book. He's going to LOVE it!

Excellent quote about Holyoke, Bags.

jal said...

KJ - did you know J. Geils is an accomplished Jazz musician? I went to a concert at the Amesbury, MA Middle School (my cousins are in the Jazz and Concert Bands). After a short show by the kids J. Geils played for about an hour. Amazing Jazz guy. The kids band even did a bit of Centerfold in one of their medley's. He's a big supporter of public school music programs. Good times.

KJ said...

Sloppiness on my part, JAL. James has nothing against J. Geils, just Peter Wolf. I should've cited a Peter Wolf solo album or something. Unlike J. Geils, that guy is just useless.

james said...

Had a chance to mention this to Kate this morning. No cards I hate cards.

KJ said...


The kids are making them for you. Bottom line: You'll get cards and like it.

james said...

Kids Cards are great. Brooks cards are not. I will love them....