12 June 2006

Auntie's Dream Diary 1

It's a scientific fact that dreams become more vivid and odd during pregnancy. They can include just about anything from giving birth to a pineapple or suddenly being able to understand and have philosophical conversations with your dog. I had both of these dreams which is why I've developed an aversion to yellow-fleshed fruit and am able to channel Vito.

Crazy-as-hell dreams always make good blog fodder but here we will launch an exploration into the mind of Auntie and the growing baguette with a new feature called "Auntie's Dream Diary." Running through September 26th, the diary entries are courtesy of Bags who is the only witness, and often first responder to these psychedelic events.

Auntie's Dream Diary 1

First, there's a little background we need to establish. When I'm in her dreams
(which is about half the time) I'm supposedly mean to her. Second, the rest of the dreams always weave in her friends, family and work with bizarre events/background and some type of [alcoholic] beverage and food.

1) Auntie is attending Don Orsillo's birthday party. There is a martini fountain. Auntie wishes she could indulge in a martini fountain. Why couldn't Don Orsillo's crappy birthday party be at a time when she was NOT pregnant?

2) At Tom and Dawn's wedding (which is not until November). She’s hanging at the wedding with with LP's step sister Patti Labelle. Incidentally, this was the same night she woke up screaming because a tick/ant/Komodo Dragon latched onto her arm.

3) Auntie is running late for work. For reasons unknown, she boards a helicopter to Martha’s Vineyard. When she arrives she learns Patch is lost on the island, so she puts an ad in the local paper looking for him.


KJ said...

In my dream the other night, Beyonce was trying to start a fight with the Lady Owls at the Bamboo Supper Club. I hope to God I'm not pregnant.

LP Labelle said...

Yeah, I don't really talk about my step sister, Patti, 'cause we never really got along growing up. Perhaps she made me feel inferior, with her flashy clothes, acrylic nails and non-stop wailing. I'm glad we made amends and she came to the wedding, because, you see... I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes, know where I'm goin' and I know what do to. I've tidied up my point of view. I've got a new attitude.

BAGS said...

I'm waiting for the night that I wake up and she's about to brain me with that handi-step next to the bed because I was insensitive to her in one of her crazy sleep visions.