29 June 2006

A Message from the Brown Man

My streak of 8 straight years to Nantucket is coming to an end this year. My only request is that you think of me while you're pissed off tomorrow afternoon waiting for a taxi with a Mudslide buzz and think -- "this sucks, but Brownguy's still at work and we're bordering inebriation, so it could be worse".

In light of this depressing event, I've decided to document 10 moments over the years in Nantucket. They are in no particular order and I'm absolutely certain I've missed another 100 moments. We will miss you all down there, but have a GREAT TIME!


1) Tom/Jamie killing the electricity - Anxious to replace the fuse for the VCR/TV outlet so we could watch "Survivor Wootown" and "The Body Show", Tom and James snuck out to the garage. I picture them congregating around the biggest lever on the wall that said "ON" at the top side and "OFF" at the bottom with Jamie instructing to Tom -- "Tommy, I think this is it". They pulled down of course, followed by a wave of confusion from the den and pair of giggles from the garage.

2) Kate and the lamp shade - slightly bitter that our coupled travelers were enjoying some quiet time in the living room while we over-consumed alcohol and danced in the kitchen to The Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique, Kate pounced up and down on a chair facing the kitchen wall at a distance of 4 inches, while giving the DOUBLE thumbs down to the wall with a lamp shade on her head.

3) Dreama "El Jefe" - After waiting in line to enter the Rose & Crown on a Sunday night, Dreama demanded a drink from me, followed by my immediate mad dash to the bar, sweating and afraid.

4) Body Bombs into the hot tub - A combination of pure water displacement and 220 lbs of force = battered and bruised knees.

5) Sea Lions at Great Point - These cute and curious sea dogs followed us back along the seashore as we strutted in hot sand to our rent-a-Jeeps for what seemed like eternity - I think they thought we had some fresh and stinky plankton to offer them. Nevertheless it was flattering.

6) Westender - Drinking some delicious concoction out of a glass in the shape of a naked lady at The Westender out in Madaket.

7) Puppetry of the T-Bag - Tommy displaying his "puppetry" to Annie, LP and Dreama -- but giving me the honor of a quick check-up before his full display. Gee-ross.

8) Ravers sans glo-sticks - Heading to a "rave" with Auntie and LP, cautiously riding in the back of the mini-van with "Hatch Boy", and then taking money away from the hosts in my first ever crack at "Acey Ducey".

9) Tom singing "All Night Long" at Karaoke night at the Rose & Crown. That was top notch. Now they have "club night" instead of Karaoke where they serve Red Bull, Vodka and Ecstasy. This is Nantucket.

10) Horseshoes and Coronas - It's going to be REAL tough sitting at work tomorrow, doing a "Kick-Off Call" with some dude from California explaining how I'm going to implement his ass while you guys are sucking on cold Coronas and tossing horseshoes. Hit a "ringah" and a "leanah" for me.

- Brownguy

5 comments:

KJ said...

BG: As I've said many times, your absence will be sharp and painful.

A BG-Nantucket Quote of Note:
"Annie - how do those jets feel blasting away at your hammers."

Code Red said...

KJ - you've highlighted one of my favorite ACK Brown Guy moments. That, and sitting in the hot tub listenting to Brownie yell out, "Now it's RED! Now it's BLUUUUUE!" as the hot tub lights change color.

We will all miss The Brown Man and, for the record SB, those jets felt good...real good.

LP said...

Excellent recap on our journeys back and forth to Smugglers Luck, SB. I do hope the O'Browns will return next year, as I'm sure the kitty will be completely unbalanced, there will be no perpetual motion dance nor steak & cheese omelets without you. I promise to raise a glass of Orange Julius Sangria in your honor. *sniff*

lp said...

Another classic Nantucket Moment to add:

Stuffing TBag into Dreama's tiny denim coat so he could wear Elvis sunglasses and pose as Evil Keneival's son at The Boarding House, harassing all the Nantucket Reds. Awesome.

BAGS said...

Brownie,
Let's not forget you trying to impress the dirtfarmer and sliding hard on the Sponge Bob Squarepants slip and slide. Let's just say that the Sponge Bob backboard wasn't up to the challenge.