23 June 2006

Old Broads Out-the-House

Here's what happened when a few old broads decided to get out-the-house on a humid Thursday evening:

- They meet up for a quick bite at Burton's Grille at the Derby Street Shoppes.

- After dinner, they ask to have their picture taken by an extraordinarily short man -- graying and 50-ish -- who had been standing at the bar by himself most of the evening, looking lonely, and drinking straight vodka. They felt sorry for him, having noticed everyone he tried to speak with had shunned him mercilessly.

- Short man tries to take photo of old broads' chests but is discouraged by a neighboring diner.

- Instead, short man asks where the old broads a.k.a "the sorority sisters" went to college. They find it an odd question seeing as this man is clearly closer to an adult active community than a college campus.

- Nevertheless, the broads humor the teeny tiny man. "WSC," they say.

- Itty bitty man says, "Oh. Almost a real college"

- "Oh. And you're almost five feet tall," old broads say.

- Oh, SNAP! Take that, Linden Ponds.

MORAL: Never, never feel sorry for short old men alone in bars for they are alone for a reason.


epb said...

KJ - That is too funny! Lesson learned! Did you get my email about your article on co-ed bachelor(ette) parties being the topic of discussion on the Jay Severin radio show and how it illustrates the 'gaying' of America?!

pm said...

When did you go to WSC? I graduated in 93. Friend of EPB here...

SB said...

Old broads my ass.

Was Shorty Shorterton standing b/c he was afraid everyone would notice that his stumps would be dangling off of the bar stool? HeHe.

KJ said...

EPB: The "gaying" of America? Talk radio is just littered with homophobes. Apparently Matty in the morning was talking about the article on his show too calling men who attend these events "women." I call them more highly evolved and aware. Men who fear socializing with women are indistinguishable from the apes.

PM: WSC Class of 1992...English major. We had to have known you...

SB: The short guy was definitely a dangler..I think you've outed him. I want to go back tonight and see if he's there so I can snap a pic of him for the PU.

LP said...

It is a sad state of affairs when surly & petite old men are looking for love in ALL the wrong places such as suburban "Lifestyle Centers" (a.k.a. strip malls for the affluent). Glad you girls put him back in his place.