09 November 2005

Wild Kingdom: Hanover

In the weeks prior to our moving to the South Shore last year, a six-year-old Hanover boy was attacked by a rabid raccoon in his driveway, and there were numerous reports of renegade coyotes snacking on small pets. While I'm always on high-alert, I've figured it's only a matter of time before I come face-to-face with nature. And last week, my number came up. I was in the backyard enjoying the 70 degree weather; Caroline was chasing Vito and I was trying to keep Paulie from eating rocks. Suddenly, I heard a slight rustling in the bushes on the other side of the brook. The rustling got louder, and I spotted some kind of brown-colored creature through the leaves and branches who appeared to be heading in our direction.

Even though I'd started fibrillating, I tried not to become shrill and give the kids major anxiety disorders before they're even potty-trained. "C'mon! Everyone into the shed," I said, trying to make it sound fun. I picked up Paulie and herded Caroline and Vito into the shed -- a safe harbor filled with lawnmowers, weed killer, and razor sharp garden tools. I could hear something drinking from he brook, which really freaked me out. I grabbed a rake and peeked outside. I saw the creature again, a little clearer this time. It didn't look like a raccoon or coyote. Maybe a beaver of some kind. The word "woodchuck" came to mind but then I realized I had no idea what a woodchuck looked like. As the animal turned and scurried up the hill, I glimpsed it in its full glory. It was a familiar creature, indigenous to the suburbs -- my neighbors' dachsund.



While I was never going to share this truly pitiful story, LP, having been attacked by a dachsund once, reminded me they are vicious little fuckers who should not be trifled with.

7 comments:

wmd said...

they are rats with collars

SB said...

KJ - set aside a spray bottle for that little sh*t for his next trip into Vito's territory.

Code Red said...

The South Shore must be the set of Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom." Entering my mother's "active adult community" in Milton, I've already see two deer (one the size of a Brontosaurus)and a large possum...at least I'm telling myself it was a possum. It kind of looked like a rat. WMD, maybe it was a dachsund sans collar?

James said...

Thats good stuff!

wmd said...

* this could all come to plan. two deer + pile of apples + baseball bat = 2 freezers full of venison. LP can quit her job and start a game dinner service. the possum can be for possum stew for southern (read redneck) game dinners.

* (brilliant idea should be appended to my previous blog on "why am i not rich?")

jal said...

Dachsunds are yippy little things too!

lp said...

Kate, you did the right thing.

Next time, perhaps Vito can use his mojo to seduce the vicious little minx while you and the kids run for cover.