20 January 2006
Cream Shop Friday: The Tao of Paris
If given the chance, I am highly confident that Vito could beat Paris Hilton in a spelling bee. Everyone knows she's no smarty pants, but in a deposition document leaked to the media today, Paris reveals what a staggering moron she actually is. After spending some time in the Cream Shop today reading this complex & witty legal exchange, I honestly don't know how the woman dresses herself without tipping over. I think she may be brain damaged.
In her deposition, Paris is asked about a companion's last name and she replied: “It is, like, a weird Greek name. Like Douglas.” WHAT?
Paris on friendship:
“I meet so many people. I don’t even know some of my friends’ names.”
Paris on stalking:
“I would never say stalking. I’m not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can’t really stalk another girl.”
Paris on world travel:
“I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is like French — I didn’t see anything because I wasn’t in America.”