1) Have you ever ordered anything from an infomercial?
Yes. Years ago when I was living by myself, I ordered a treadmill from a *very late night* infomercial. My inner idiot took over and I somehow felt the resolution to all of my problems lay in a new-found fitness regime -- one that I would certainly stick to as the treadmill's pricetag of $1200 would dictate self-discipline -- it would be "an investment." The treadmill arrived 4 days later and I realized I'd purchased a calibre of machine only necessary for people who were training for the Olympics.
I assembled it myself but the piece of crap never worked. I spent 6 hours on the phone with customer service, dismantled the shitmill (as it came to be known) then reassembled it twice. I even cancelled plans to go out that night to resolve the problem. I finally snapped and told them to come and take it away immediately before I thew it out the window and firebombed it with a propane tank. Since I'd already exhausted the "waiting for UPS" excuse at work, I couldn't wait between the slated 8-2 window. I had to lug the shitmill down two flights of stairs and leave it on the front stairs for UPS with a note and go to work.
I couldn't lift the two-ton box so I tried to 'hug' it down the front steps. My 79- year-old neighbor on the first floor heard me struggling and swearing in the stairwell and started to help me, despite my protests. She actually lifted one of the ends up and dragged it out the front door herself, but not before telling me I was built like a chicken. She also pointed out that if I hadn't been such a "birdbrain," I would have carried it down one piece at a time and packaged it on the sidewalk. It haven't even occurred to me to do so, which made me feel even more stupid than I already did for making a $1200 purchase from a late night infomercial.
2) What was the most ridiculous vanity license plate you’ve ever seen? That’s easy: "KLLR DNCR" which I presume meant “Killer Dancer.”
3) Name one song you heard today:
“Brighter than Sunshine” by Aqualung. Heard it several times this morning and I only had the radio on today for about 25 minutes. It’s actually a lovely song but I’m sure I will loathe it soon.
4) Would you consider yourself athletic?
No one would consider me athletic, least of all myself. Although, I do enjoy Wiffle ball. And playing that basketball game “Pig.”
5) Name one thing you’re looking forward to in the month of Jan: The two-hour season premiere of 24.