22 March 2007

Another Reason I Can’t Get Any Work Done


Every afternoon this week, Vito has fallen asleep on my leg and laptop with his eyes open -- and has proceeded to snore like a drunk old man. Most pugs snore but portly pugs like Vito snore obscenely. And it’s getting worse. We’ve proven that dieting doesn’t work in this house where waffles magically fall to the floor. Long walks didn’t work either as I ended up having to carry Vito home most times because he conked out on the sidewalk and refused to budge. He’s 33 pounds of pure lard with a fresh new fat roll atop his head. While Vito maintains that he is big boned with a slow metabolism, he now officially has more fat rolls than Azamat from Borat.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a fat pug Sheila. Not >THAT< fat but she is up there. The more fat rolls the better I think!!!

KJ said...

HOLD ON-Your pug's name is SHEILA? That's the best thing I've heard all day. Perfect pug name. Send photos, please.

Cameo said...

F*er, don't be so hard on portly Vito. Lily is a sleek 14 lbs and she snores like an old whore.

KJ said...

She probably sleeps spreadeagle on her back too, that little whore.

Did you have the sound on when you watched the Vito video? It actually woke up Paulie who was upstairs in his crib when I was posting it! The laptop vibrates.

Anonymous said...

Dee Dee (our 16 lb cat) snores too....but not with her eyes open.....is Vito really sleeping ?? thanks for the laugh !

jal said...

Ava snores too but very quietly like "What's that? Oh, It's Ava's gentle snoring." Then again Ava's breathing equipment isn't shoved into a negligible snout and a round head. Being the son of two parents who are on their third pug you know I say that with love.

KJ said...

JAL-I hear that. As far as Vito goes, I love every 33 pounds of that tub of lard.

KJ said...

Hey Nic-Does Dee Dee still have to get Brazilians b/c she can't clean herself properly due to her girth? Did I ever tell you that Carrie saw a black pug pup a few months ago and said, "Look, Mama..it's Dee Dee!" She also called my black faux fur wrap "Dee Dee" a few years ago as well (remember that..?)

Anonymous said...

Maybe too much time posting Vito videos on Youtube is the reason for your lack of productivity...good stuff KJ

KJ said...

Right on. I find it impossible to resist any opportunity for procrastination, however small. This entire blog was born of that sentiment and -- as you can see -- it endures.