13 March 2007

Quizzilla De Bags

This week's deliciously insightful, slightly probing quizzilla questions come courtesy of the Bags family.

1) What is the most annoying TV ad, past or present?
I would say the “Head On -- Apply directly to the forehead” commercial but I think its intent is to annoy. That said, I cannot STAND that ridiculous Avis commercial where the misty-eyed corporate traveler falls in love with his rental car’s GPS system because it not only helps him avoid traffic jams but also found him some “awesome Chinese.” This foolish discourse is only made more horrendous by “Total Eclipse of the Heart” playing in the background.

2) When was the last time you were lectured by one of your parents and for what?
I wouldn't call it lecturing so much as a running dissertation to discredit my childcare abilities (or lack thereof) and my doctor’s diagnoses that, according to my mother, should be taken with a grain of salt. For instance, both kids were diagnosed with double ear infections recently. Her reaction: “Ear infections? I don’t think so. Look at their faces. They are clearly suffering from sinus infections. Where did your doctor get his degree? Target?” It’s important to note here, that my mother is a retired English school teacher and doesn’t have a degree in medicine. I recently reminded her that you can never give kids aspirin because of the threat of Reyes Syndrome. Her response: “Well, I don’t believe in that, but that's your call.” Hundreds of doctors and years of medical research to the contrary simply cannot stand. In all fairness, it’s not just my mother. I hear the same story from everyone I know whose parents are in their 60s. It’s completely generational – and apparently the generation that chain smoked and boozed it up during pregnancy have a corner on the facts. But as my parents start spending more time in Florida every year, they're softening a bit, This week, they didn't have an opinion on childcare. They were more interested on sharing the details of their excursion to a gay bar in Marina Del Ray to see a Frank Sinatra impersonator. I’m thisclose to getting them to the cabaret show at Jacques.

3) When is the last time you had the bed spins?
After LPD’s Boston Marathon fundraiser a few years ago. The bed spins were preceded by the High Street spins and the cab spins. Nic and I drank three apple martinis a piece before the doors even opened. What a tawdry sideshow to behold.

4) Is Dice-K's gyroball fact or fiction?
I hope it exists as long as it’s in the hands of the good guys. In anyone else’s hands, I hope the gyroball proves itself to be as life-like as Godzilla or the Smog Monster.

5) Will Tom Brady's love child be a boy or girl?
If it turns out he’s knocked up both girlfriends, maybe he’ll get one of each.


James said...

1) TV Add..
I will submit a radio ad that is on EEI constantly. "I'm Leonard Shippley, don't let those preditors get any more of your money"....
2)Never really get lectured any more. My Dad has been on me every time we talk that I have to plant a garden this year and that the kids will love it. I tell him I can barely care for 2 kids and an asshole dog.
3)Last time I had bedspins was the Christmas Party 05. That night I pushed LP out of the way as I rushed to the head...
5) I don't care if Brady has a monkey as long as his QB Rating is close to 100.

EPB said...

1. That Kleenex ad with a woman on a park bench spilling her guts as he is crying profusly into a kleenex. Has Puffs really put that big of a dent in Kleenexs sales?
2. My parents are pretty cool about not lecturing but my mother can give you looks that kill when she disapproves something.
3. Bed spins. Believe it or not I never get them. I think its because I drink to the point beyond bed spins to direct pass out. Good times.
4. Does the gyro ball look like the pitch that Bernie of Bernie and Phyll's throws to Tim Wakefield in that horrible commercial?.... maybe that should be my answer to #1
5. Which one?

BAGS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BAGS said...

1)Ad - Any feminine hygiene commercial. Guys don't want to see/hear about it, women don't want to be reminded.

2)Lectured by my mother a few weeks ago because I said something disparaging about a family member.

3)Dealio's bachelor party. The last thing I remember was leaving with SAC and feeding McDonald French fries to Wrigley in their kitchen.

4)I don't think the gyroball will make much a difference until the Sox get a closer [to actually hold a lead.]

5)Boy and Boy. I also believe Cameo will be the next person Brady scores with.

jal said...

1. Empire carpet - radio AND tv - ANNOYING!!!
2. Lectured by my mother last night about going to see my grandfather at mass general today
3. The night at D-Bar. I think it was EPB's bday. Very very bad. Most likely shouldn't have been driving.
4. If it's for real that's great! Maybe some of that stop action strobe light photography could tell us the truth.
5. Who cares, I'm hoping he's gay and it's all a cover.

wmd said...

EPB, ques #1; Brilliant!! for the life of me, couldn't think of an example. That knocked it out of the park. That tissue was about as phony as if he had a NASCAR-style Tide emblem on the back of his shirt. The best would be if at the end when she was crying, the guy looked up, smiled, winked and gave a thumbs up to the camera holding a pack of Mentos.

Bags, ques #1, It's not a self-cleaning oven down there. I don't want to hear about it but as long as the message gets to those who need it, it's in everyone's best interest.

KJ said...

Whoever is running Avis' new campaign needs to be meatball-subbed. Their equally annoying commercial involves Twisted Sister coming on whenever people open their mouths. DUMB!