LPD officially launched Cream Shop Friday today by sending this photo around. The pic arrived via KW via Rich O. who holds this image in such high esteem, it's the wallpaper on his home computer.
This shithole pictured here is Kelleher’s in Westfield, Mass.
Behold the beveled glass windows, the filthy tattered awning, the massive dumpster just outside the doorway. From the outside, it looks like the kind of place where pool-table gang rapes are commonplace, a place where drunk townies stab outsiders with broken beer bottles. Actually, it looks like that kind of place on the inside too, but that’s beside the point.
The point is, it looks like a bar to avoid -- especially if you're a fresh-faced college student. Instead, we waited in line and paid $5 to get into this joint. And we’d STAY there until we were asked to leave. Once inside, we’d pound 50-cent drafts and Kool-Aid shots, and dance to tunes spun by a greasy throwback named Bruce Parker. And let’s not forget – although I’d like to – I would occasionally spin some tunes, much to the chagrin of line-dancing sluts who hated the Saturday Night Fever vibe I was trying to bring. (Fuck y’all) Anyway, every Saturday night, we’d show up here, get steaming drunk, dance to “Oh What A Night” at least twice, smoke on the fire escape and do some shots downstairs when the slow songs came on. Then, just as the sludge started to congeal on the floors, the lights would come up and we’d stumble out the front door and swarm the hot dog man. Wow. We were cool.
Spend some time in the Cream Shop today and send us some Kelleher's-inspired Haiku. Even if you’ve never been inside, just picture the worst dive you’ve ever been in and the imagery will jive.
LPD and I will go head-to-head to get the ball rolling:
I can almost smell the sludge
Bruce Parker’s greasy
2) Who is that I see?
Outside wearing Girbaud pants?
LP dares to swipe
A townie's leather jacket
Hot dog man frenzy
Feel the sludge on your shoe-boots
Puke behind Baybanks
4) Slow dancing upstairs.
Downstairs, Kool-Aid shots for all!
Closing time is here.
Let's all drink more at Church Street.
Cream Shop Friday is a feature on this blog aimed at causing distraction.