16 November 2006

O'Reilly's Opera

Time to visit Giana. I came very close to booking a ticket to Seattle this morning after learning about this new opera playing at UW in January that is based on Bill O'Reilly's 2004 phone sex scandal with Faux News underling Andrea Mackris. Igor Keller, a Washington-based saxophone player, not only set the sexual harrassment suit to music but transformed it into what he calls a "31-part, concert-length baroque oratorio." Entitled "Mackris v. O'Reilly," the libretto opens with a reading of the original complaint filed by Mackris and runs through seven chorales, four recitatives, and numerous arias before the denouement, which features a dramatic, baritone reading of the settlement. The opera covers all of the sordid details including O'Reilly's paranoid rants and the infamous loofah-as-falafel Caribbean shower fantasy. (a wistful recitation and aria are devoted to this gem in part 27 of the production) For those unfamilar with the loofah story: O'Reilly, the King of Moral Outrage, called up Makris and awkwardly tried to lure her into phone sex by telling her that she had specatular boobs and that he wanted to soap them up with his loofah mitts. On the second reference, he mistakenly -- and quite inexplicably -- referred to the loofah as a "falafel." All the while, he's having a go at himself with a vibrator. Truth is stranger than fiction. Either way, the O'Reilly opera will most certainly be better than this.


SB said...

He's right about one thing. She does have nice boobs.

Sorry.. you're not going to get anything intellectual out of me at 8:30am on a Friday.

Alex said...

What, no coke party Bill? Lame. Pat O'Brien is laughing at you right now.